It’s ironic that the same week Odell Beckham, Jr of the famous one-handed highlight-film catch got put on a one-way bus out of NYC by the Giants, undrafted free agent (read ‘walk-on’) wideout Efton Chism III reprised ‘the grab’ for the game-winning TD as the Patriots improbably downed the vaunted Bills on that catch. Perhaps three sticks after your name tops just the two in ‘Jr’. I was all over the place again this week going 9-7 for two straight, and now I am one game better (42-22) than Mike Clay, best at ESPN. I’m still several games ahead of their other ten prognosticators. Let’s see if I can stay out front.
Buccaneers at Cowboys – Dallas shot their way out of Houston Sunday with some late offensive heroics, needing their stellar offense to carry their leaky defense again. Not sure how long they can keep this up, but they will continue another week by sinking the powderless Buccaneers. Pirates plunge predictably under Prescott’s prolific peppering of passes.
Eagles at Jaguars – Philly flopped their way to a costly loss as the Rams overcame early deficits to climb back to a victory last week. Their D is suspect, which bodes ill facing a balanced and potent offense like Jacksonville’s, who just defanged the Bengals on the road. Add to that a stouter-than-expected Jag defense and the probable absence of Saquon, and Jacksonville will have the Eagles seeing spots – lots of them. Philly gets their bell rung in Doo-val.
Bengals at Dolphins – I don’t know what’s in the water in Ohio, but the talented Bungles can’t seem to pull it together and the feckless Browns are 3-1. Cincy SHOULD win this one, but the winless Phins have refused to lay down against any opponent this season, to their credit. Can you say ‘trap game’?….Yeah, me neither, although Miami may give Cincy all they can handle. Tigers feast on a South Beach diet of smoked fish.
Raiders at Patriots – Well, here’s an interesting matchup, maybe the most intriguing of the weekend. The 3-1 Casinos have Kissin’ Cousins slinging the pig like a man on a mission, and their bolstered defense is keeping them in games long enough for him to work his Vegas magic show. They went toe-to-toe with the Chiefs and made a game of it last week, as did the Pats by finding enough offense to snuff the Bills in Orchard Park, no small feat. This matchup comes at the right time, as both teams are trying to define their iteration this season. NFL website’s Power Rankings have the Raiders at #12, and the Pats at #18. I don’t know if I believe in Vegas yet, but I have probably been too quick to dismiss last year’s Super Bowl loser, which is still largely intact. Muskets must get a win protecting the farm…and they repel the raucous rapscallions from Reno.
Vikings at Saints – I keep waiting for the Vikes to fail, considering they haven’t anointed a starting QB and their offense is suspect, and they keep failing to fail. I just don’t see this team persisting on this path, but more power to them. I keep expecting the Saints to win, and they keep making me look like a dope, so this game gives me ample opportunity to look dumber than a kicking tee. I’m going to take the safe bet here and go with Minneapolis. Horned helmets humble the holy Whodats handily.
Browns at Jets – The Browns are my surprise team of the season so far, while the Jets have been as predictable as a filed flight plan. ESPN’s vaunted pro’s are leaning heavy into GangGreen this week, but I’m sticking with the Cleveland Steamers sticking one more victory onto their total so far. Browns pound the ground while they shut the Jets down.
Colts at Steelers – The Colts barely staggered past the DC Comics last week, needing to overcome a pair of costly INT’s by Danny Dimes, who looked more like he was pitching pennies. In Pittsburgh, we got treated to the sideline spectacle of Aaron Rodgers’ and Mike McCarthy’s impending divorce in real time (who DOESN’T Rodgers hate after getting to know them?). Will he and McCarthy get into a purse-swinging fight this week, or focus on football long enough to nail down a home win? I’m going with ‘Second-Half’ Metcalf to break open an ugly, tight game. Black beats Blue with a Steel horseshoe.
Texans at Titans – The Titans are built to break losing streaks by other teams this season. Houston escapes the basement, but probably too late to matter this year.
Giants at Commanders – Like the Vikes, I don’t know how the Giants have done it so far, but I expect it is ending soon for them. With DC’s QB situation in disarray, the Bronx Boppers probably notch another W this week, which they will steal off the stupid-looking Pop Warner helmets of the Commanders. Sidebar: I agree that ‘Redskins’ was a horrible, pejorative name; but that logo was visually elegant and iconic, and deserves to be restored under a better name, like ‘Warriors’ or (enter tribe name here). Giants Command Washington from atop the NFC East.
Bears at Packers – Chicago has proven to be pretty deep and resilient, while they wait for QB1 to mend, as Keenum continues to make a Case for good backups. My sister in-law won’t like me saying this, but it’s becoming clear that her Packers stink this year. DaBears mauled DaJets last week, who aren’t bad despite their poor record. This week, hungry Bears feast on stinky cheese and packed meat.
Broncos at Chargers – Not wasting unnecessary words on this lopsided tilt. The Bolts are broken. Orange crushes Orange County.
Lions at Cardinals – I’m so out on the danged Cryins! I love Dan Campbell (who don’t?), but he can’t get his potent, talented team to put wins on the scoreboard. The Lions are reverting to historic form, a form that wasted the careers of the great Barry Sanders and the great Calvin ‘Megatron’ Johnson, two of the most electrifying players of all-time at their respective positions. I don’t like chronic under-achievers and this franchise is the poster child for that term. I’m taking them to beat Arizona this week against my personal preferences, because there is no way they should lose to Arizona…and I will laugh out loud if Zona finds a way to skin these toothless terrors. Pontiac Pussycats procure positive pathway past pesky Pheonix.
49ers at Seahawks – Iron clashes with iron here. This might be your NFC semi-final matchup. The Niners are pretty stacked this year, and their gold record has no tarnish on it. Darnold is due back soon, and that defense….oh my. Still playing angry. When the smoke clears after this epic battle Sunday, both teams will have the same record. As Perry Como sang, ‘The bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle….and the Squawks the meanest mean, in Seattle..”
Ravens at Falcons – The Rise of the Penix has turned the fortunes of the Dirty Birds around. Back from the ashes of obscurity & injury, Atlanta made sure Cooper was Rushed back to the sidelines along with his 8-ppg average, as these birds have caught fire under their returning gunslinger. Conversely, Lamar Jackson is hurt and may not play, which tilts the field considerably towards the Peaches. It looks to be a beautiful day in Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood this Sunday. When the feathers fly, the Falcons own the sky.
Bills at Rams – I’m still trying to figure out what happened with the Bills last week, losing at home. Maybe Josh Allen is going to be one of those run-n-gun risk-taker QBs that never gets his team all the way home because he takes too many chances on the strength of his considerable skills. We’ve seen this movie before, and some of his contemporaries are likely to fall into the same category (Lamar Jackson, Kyler Murray, to name a few). The Rams have questions of their own, as Stafford has not looked sharp of late, and Garrett’s services on defense remain out of reach. This game pits the top scoring offense (Buffalo) against the 2nd-best yardage offense (LA), so there should be plenty of fireworks on MNF to keep both coasts up late. Buffalo will want to prevent a losing streak, while the Rams will be looking to stay competitive in the toughest division in the NFL. Plenty of drama to fuel this battle. Their previous matchup was an 86-point affair decided by two points! Let’s hope for the same again. Scrams buffalo the Bills, at the base of the Hollywood Hills.
Enjoy the games!
Pigskin Pundit (Nate Clark)
